Meet the Pups
Rudy
Breed: Boxer
Age: 10
About: Working hard to perfect more than one look (ala Zoolander) and generally failing miserably but can turn both left and right. Looks grumpy; actually happy. Unable to cross front legs (arms?).
Likes: Butter.
Dislikes: Wet grass.
Milly
Breed: Weimaraner
Age: 11
About: Still waters run deep. Wistful, thoughtful, confusing. Similar to Matthew McConaughey when he did those Lincoln commercials i.e. no-one’s sure what’s going on there but we like it.
Likes: Kant, Chomsky, Nietzsche. Deep thought + deep-fried things.
Dislikes: Being compared to Matthew McConaughey who, let’s face it, is more Golden Retriever than deep-thinker.
Muggins
Breed: Small Yorkie X Something Else
Age: 10
About: The Tom Cruise of dogs: Tiny, cute, jumps on couches, dangerous if left unsupervised. Currently plotting the canine takeover of the world.
Likes: Mission Impossible.
Dislikes: Anything with Bruce Willis
Birdie
Breed: American Pitbull X
Age: 4
About: Nervous generally but with a conflicting (and unbearable) sense of FOMO. Doesn’t want to do things; doesn’t want to miss out on things.
Likes: Spice bags and early nights.
Dislikes: Fast-moving things. Grapes.
Buzz
Breed: American Staffordshire Terrier X
Age: 5
About: Irish-American lad with a tough exterior and gentle eyes. Can bark the alphabet. Minor separation anxiety issues and will likely follow you wherever you’re going.
Likes: Wearing human pyjamas, sharing your bed with you. WWF back in the 80s when it was better. The People’s Elbow.
Dislikes: Being left alone.
Hank
Breed: Cavachon
Age: 1
About: Half dog, half Ewok. Soft on the outside, softerer on the inside. Strong possibility that he is a child’s toy come to life.
Likes: CHICKEN. Nicholas Cage in National Treasure. Treasure hunts in general. Digging.
Dislikes: Skateboards. Other dogs, children (anyone that doesn't have chicken).
Ned Bark
Breed: Bichon Frise X Shih Tzu
Age: 2
About: Currently settling into the ‘Terrible Twos’ and loving it. Cheeky, fun, sweet and definitely not listening to you.
Likes: The part in Jurassic Park where Samuel L. Jackson says ‘Hold on to yer butts’. Nachos.
Dislikes: Doing the thing you asked him to do.
Trixie
Breed: Miniature Bichon Frise X Long Haired Chihuahua
Age: 3
About: A bonafide lady who will submit to a walk ONLY if YOU are the one who is walking and she is the one being carried. Paws that belong to an actual teddy bear, built-in fur collar, prefers gemstones to chew toys. Never gets lost due to refusal to move.
Likes: Being carried, Zsa Zsa Gabor.
Dislikes: Moving on one’s own.